Inauguration Shutouts Demand Satisfaction

Thousands of inauguration ticket holders want answers

Six days have passed since Barack Obama's multi-million member army descended on the National Mall to bear witness to our newest president incorrectly taking the Oath of Office.

President Obama would then deliver a 20-minute speech about hope and jobs and call it a day. The members of this mob were graced with the opportunity to witness the most important moment in American history in person, on distant Jumbotrons, which were themselves a half-mile or so away from anything important.

There was a category of visitors who had it even worse during the ceremony. And their anger -- they're very angry! -- will not be appeased for decades.

They are those who showed up to join the National Mall Mob in history, only to find themselves still stuck in the Third Street Tunnel as their hero was struggling to place the word "faithfully" in its proper sequence.

What local villains would allow such a thing to happen?

And what kind of country is this when you can't plan to drive 15 hours from the Midwest to a major city, find satisfactory local lodging, wake up at 3 a.m., take a strained public transportation system to a distant drop-off depot, walk along a massive underground tunnel, go through top-level federal security checks and eventually reach a tiny patch of grass in a sea of millions of your fellow patriots without running into some problem along the way by 12 p.m. on a weekday?

Thankfully, Maryland Congressman Chris Van Hollen is championing the people's cause by writing a sternly worded letter to Inaugural Ceremonies chair Dianne Feinstein -- the Senator -- one that strongly endorses a thorough investigation into this national tragedy.

And whenever Congressmen lead perfunctory investigations at the behest of some enraged constituents, the problem is almost always solved. They must locate the problem quickly, however: another one of these things is coming up in 2012, which is practically the day after tomorrow.

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