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Chicagoan Sam Kass will serve high-toned meals to famous arugula eater

Once upon a time the Obamas lived in Chicago, and a guy used to cook for them on occasion, and now he will make them arugula salads on demand in the White House. This chef, Sam Kass, went to the University of Chicago, which means he is an exceptionally well rounded and fiercely competitive nerd who did not see sunlight or make out with another human for four years of college. Rumor has it that he's a good cook!

Kass is one of them fancy types called "locavores," which is a ten-dollar word for somebody who would rather eat dandelion greens harvested from the off-leash dog park down the street from your apartment than eat perfectly decent iceberg lettuce from Mexico. This brave hippie will take his obsession with "clean, healthy food" and "local farms" to downtown Washington D.C., a place that boasts neither within the city limits. Imagine the Obamas' surprise when they are presented with such District-sourced delicacies as rat meat sandwiches and candied cigarette butts!

Kass joins White House executive chef Cristeta Comerford, who was hired by the Bush family and kept on by the Obamas. As a result, every meal will consist of something with jalapenos and cheese in it, plus some unpronounceable bit of greenery plucked from the sidewalk near a Metro stop.

The culinary world is all aflutter over this team of culinary heroes: the first female executive chef in the White House, and this other guy.

Sara K. Smith writes for Wonkette and makes her own chicken stock.

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