When Barack Obama immigrated from France to the United States shortly before inauguration, he promised his elitist artist friends in Parisian salons that he would bring the Americans -- "those cretin hamburger-suckers" -- the delicate, vital tastes of Modern Art. That, and Grey Poupon mustard.
The reaction in the States has been violent, so far: if this guy wants to slather his tangy yellow sauce all over our food and sleep on a giant painting every night, fine, but not on our taxpayer dime.
But Obama refuses to give up with this riff raff, and for his latest re-education program tonight he and the First Lady will host the first ever White House Poetry Slam. Or is a Jam? A fancy blogger notes that there's an important distinction on which the entire fate of the Obama Presidency may hinge:
What will make this interesting is how much will be original work versus recitation which would be more a Poetry Jam, than a Slam. To make it a real Slam, there is judging of the performance art involved which would make it A-W-K-W-A-R-D for attendance by the president and first lady.
So a Poetry Jam would be the "baby step" version, with a bunch of interesting but not quite radical artists, while a Poetry Slam would be, say, Wanda Sykes making a bunch of mean jokes about Rush Limbaugh.
The lineup won't just be poets reading their words all jazz-like, however. It includes "poet Mayda Del Valle, James Earl Jones, author Michael Chabon, jazz pianist ELEW, jazz bassist Esperanza Spalding, playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda and author Ayelet Waldeman."
(James Earl Jones, according to Beltway insiders, is expected to read dirty jokes in the Darth Vader voice.)
The event will start at 7:45 p.m. tonight, and all Americans are required by to watch it on the State Internet under penalty of death.
Jim Newell writes for Wonkette and IvyGate.