Region Gears Up For Historic Teabagging Protests

Be sure to wear your finest knickers 'n' boots

Tomorrow's April 15th, America, so this is a polite reminder for everyone out there to file your taxes.

APRIL FOOL'S! Paying taxes, that's for old people! You don't want to be old do you? Nope, so throw those IRS forms in the john and GO GALT at your local neighborhood Tax Day Tea Party instead!

What these folks are all mad about is Barack Obama's socialism and communism: increased debt, spending, and most importantly, taxes.

Taxes. Barack Obama loves them. Just look what he's done with taxes already: lowered them for all but the top 5 percent of American earners, and kept them stable for that top 5 percent until 2011, when the top marginal income tax rate will rise from 35 percent to 39.6 percent -- about 10 percent less than it was during most of Ronald Reagan's two terms.

Check out this poor local lady's case, for example. Her small locality raised its local taxes recently. What's to stop Barack Obama from raising them again?

Johanna Ashworth, 26, plans to show up to both. She and her husband left upstate New York in August for Centreville, mainly for “lower taxes and higher income,” but quickly ran into local tax increase proposals. Ashworth, who lives in Centreville and is studying for the Law School Admission Test, worried tax policies under Barack Obama would punish her for pursuing her lifelong dream of becoming a lawyer.

It's true, Johanna. Barack Obama hates you. He wants to punish you. He thinks you're awful, and he wants to punish you. If you become a lawyer, he will seize all of your money, just because he hates you.

And so Barack Obama must be teabagged.

The biggest D.C. protest tomorrow will be outside the U.S. Treasury, and another will be in Lafayette Park. In Maryland, the biggest will be in Annapolis and Baltimore's Inner Harbor. But smaller protests are likely to be found anywhere. Here's a news clip of some ladies planning one in Westminster, and let's just say that they're furious about those middle-class tax cuts Barack Obama gave them.



Jim Newell writes for Wonkette and IvyGate.

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