Two weeks ago, some person at the Annapolis mall saw a guy sitting in the back seat of a parked car, called 911, told them he thought the guy was naked -- with another naked person -- having sexual intercourse.
The police checked it out and labeled the charge "unfounded."
This random aggregation of information was discovered approximately 48 hours ago, and suddenly we have the major newspapers in Washington, Baltimore and Annapolis printing extensive articles about the Anne Arundel County executive being involved in a devastating sex scandal that -- if it exists? -- is very ... devastating. To politics.
Now who cares if this is fiction or non-fiction? A thrilling read is a thrilling read, and this is a somewhat thrilling read, so let's retell it with maybe two more facts.
On January 30, a 911 call was made from the Nordstrom's department store. The caller told county police that there was a black Chevy Impala in the parking lot, and two people might be having sexytime in the back seat. Although such perceived vulgarity distressed him very much, this undiscovered wit was composed enough to spit out the most hilarious sentence ever spoken:
"I'm not positive, but it looks like there's naked people in the car."
The police showed up and, according to an official radio transmission released with the 911 call Wednesday, an officer said, "It's the county executive himself in the back seat." The police passed the car twice and determined that the complaint was "unfounded" two minutes later.
John Leopold has denounced the whole thing as stupid gossip to which he should not have to respond.
This is basically the biggest scandal since Monica Lewinsky.
Jim Newell writes for Wonkette and IvyGate, which are blogs, and only blogs post scurrilous sex rumors.