D.C. Voting Rights Activists Cheer … For Now

Bill now waits 10,000 years for turn in legislative agenda

The ancient war between D.C. Voting Rights Activists and People Who Don't Want The Democrats To Get Another Congressional Seat took a positive step forward for the former group Wednesday. But will this effort be struck down in shame, like all of the others?

The Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee passed the latest iteration of a bill today that would give D.C. its first "real" seat in the House of Representatives, ever.

All Washington residents seem to want this more than anything -- at least the ones who drive cars -- because why else would they voluntarily choose to have "No Taxation Without Representation" inscribed on their license plates?

The bill aims to appease critics -- primarily Republicans, who will never, ever, ever win a D.C. election -- by adding a second House seat in Utah, where liberalism is considered witchcraft.

Many Republican leaders are worried, however, about the precedent this would set for D.C. voting rights -- namely that this give the District a stronger hand in arguing for two precious Senate seats as their next big "thing."

The bill is expected to pass the House with ease, but it is still hard to gauge the level of support it would receive in the Senate, even if that place is overwhelmingly Democratic these days. The chamber probably would not get the 60 votes needed to break a filibuster.

The bigger problem, however, is that Congress currently is too busy to deal with this tomfoolery. Its biggest priorities now are to give a trillion dollars to consumers, then another trillion to insolvent banks, and then who knows, another trillion to giraffes or something.

Want to move up in the legislative agenda, D.C. Voting Rights Activists? Make your bill cost a trillion dollars.

Jim Newell is paid several trillion dollars to write for Wonkette and IvyGate.

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