PETA Asks Virginia for Chicken Museum

Museum at site of closing prison would attempt to generate poultry empathy

Humans eat a lot of chickens. But they don't pay much mind to the cruel conditions many chickens are put through prior to becoming a foodstuff. Mostly because humans are too busy being focused on the "chickens are tasty" thing. But PETA wants you to feel for your feathered dinner entree. And they see a museum as the best way to do it. A museum for chickens!

Yes, PETA wants to create the country's first "chicken empathy museum" in Virginia. In a letter sent to Gov. Tim Kaine, the organization is asking to rent out the closing Botetourt Correctional Center and use it for the museum grounds. To think, a building used for incarceration now a symbol for animal liberation! That's heady stuff.

So what sort of things would this museum have in order to generate some empathy for chickens?

The museum could feature exhibits that include video footage from research conducted at Bristol University in the U.K.--research that showed how chickens are intelligent animals with mental abilities comparable to cats, dogs, and even primates. It could also feature a restaurant that would serve heart-friendly and delicious faux-chicken drumsticks and chickenless pot pie and a gift shop that could provide free plush chickens for kids, with tags reading, "I Am Not a Nugget!" The museum would feature interactive displays, including one in which visitors have weighted backpacks strapped to their backs to simulate how large chickens' upper bodies can grow in proportion to their legs. The museum would also provide area residents with much-needed jobs.

Displays about research? Vegetarian spins on popular entrees? Backpacks? I feel the empathy already!

I will say, however, that if the museum churns out "I Am Not a Nugget" shirts, they will be hits among hipsters the world over. Just don't ask me to empathize.

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