Moran Begs for Money in Va. Gov's Race - NBC4 Washington

Moran Begs for Money in Va. Gov's Race

Democratic candidate pens desperate, "cryptic" letter to supporters

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    The main Democratic candidates in the Virginia governor's race, Brian Moran and Terry McAuliffe, are operating under very different circumstances: McAuliffe has lots of money, while Brian Moran is desperate.

    And as desperate candidates are wont to do, Moran wrote his supporters a letter this weekend which, according to the Washington Post, "was designed to appear hand-written."

    Yes, it's just that emo.

    "Please forgive the unusual nature of this letter," the first sentence reads. "Circumstances dictate that I be both brief and urgent at the same time. You have been a good friend to me and this campaign...I am hoping you will take me at my word when I say I really need your help."

    Oh, we believe it! It's not a good thing when your opponent, McAuliffe, a former head of the Democratic National Committee, is perhaps the party's most connected fundraiser in a state with incredibly weak campaign finance laws. The Washington Times notes that McAuliffe has been reaching out to rich friends in New York City for donations, and among the responses have been $50,000 from author John Grisham.

    What this all boils down to is that there will be many, many more McAuliffe 30-second spots on the teevee than there will be for Moran. Which brings us back to the late night fake-letter whining:

    "I will not allow this campaign to be hijacked by slick ads," Moran states. "I am stopping this right now." He later writes, "Sorry to be so cryptic, I'll explain everything in my next letter but at this moment I only have enough time to ask for your help."

    See that? He is so poor that he can only afford to be alive 18 or 19 hours a day.

    Jim Newell writes cryptic letters for Wonkette and IvyGate.