Motorists in scenic Loudoun County, Va., have been in a state of panic recently after seeing certain pagan symbols permanently etched into their quaint country roads. They look like lightning bolts -- the sort you would usually see carved into the skull of Harry Potter, only longer -- and are near liberal biking trails.
Is it the aliens? Did the aliens plaster Virginia's roads with this outer space nonsense? These are the last thoughts most witnessing drivers have before speeding off the nearest cliff, to escape the terror.
But it turns out that ... it is the aliens! Specifically those working at the Virginia Department of Transportation. They have commenced on this project as a "yearlong experiment aimed at perplexing drivers enough that they slow down at crosswalks."
Understand?
The idea here is that some drunk boor will be going down the road at 93 miles per hour, in a sports car, with his children, until he sees the lightning symbols on the road. Perplexed, he will stop the car, scream at his children for ruining his social life, and instruct them to wait quietly while he "gets his bearings" and looks around for aliens for 10 minutes.
Had this drunk boor not seen the pagan magic instructions on the ground, he would've plowed through a pack of bikers and killed them all. And that would have been bad for Loudoun County!
And like most things, this latest nonsense is yet another form of Muslim socialism that Barack Obama and the Democrats picked up in Europe while "learning about themselves."
Engineers say they are modeled after similar designs in Australia, Britain and Wales and are among the first of their kind in the United States.
Why does Loudoun County hate America?
Jim Newell writes for Wonkette and IvyGate.
