On Tuesday a bunch of filthy elephants came to D.C. to march through the streets of Southeast and Northwest, killing everything in their path.
The elephants were in town for this weekend's Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus performances at the Verizon Center and simply had to shut down traffic, during a recession of all times.
But were these elephants abused by their vicious, greedy owners?
Appropriately enough, a six-year court battle reached closing arguments Wednesday about whether "the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus violates the Endangered Species Act by using metal-tipped prods and chains to control its elephants."
The hippies challenging the circus company are so-called "animal rights activists" or, as the Washington Post likes to abridge their title, "animal activists." In other words, they are Furries.
In closing arguments after a six-year court battle, the animal activists asked U.S. District Judge Emmet Sullivan to stop the circus from harming the elephants during performances and punishing them for bad behavior.
Attorney Katherine Meyer, arguing for the animal rights groups, said she hoped the case would "give voice to these magnificent animals."
She means it literally.
The lawyers for the circus, meanwhile, refer to the instruments not as "metal-tipped prods" but as "guides and tethers," and since "tether" rhymes with "feather," it is really not abusive at all.
Jim Newell abuses the public with his work at Wonkette and IvyGate.
