In the same tone as her FunnyOrDie.com response to John McCain’s campaign ad, which pitted Barack Obama as the “biggest celebrity in the world” alongside a montage of footage featuring Britney Spears and the heiress, Paris took on a host of presidential questions in the November issue of Harper’s Bazaar.
“My advice to Sarah Palin is, you’ve got a hot bod; don’t keep it to yourself,” the heiress said. “Why wear a pantsuit when you can wear a swimsuit?”
“Welcome to the Lower 48,” Paris added, referring to the continental United States.
Paris, whose response to McCain’s ad this past summer found her calling him an “old dude,” and declaring her own intention to run thanks to her inclusion in his spot, once again declared that she would pick Rihanna as a running mate.
In the interview, Paris also outlined her presidential platform, suggesting she will only wear American designers if elected, replace inaugural balls with Rock Band parties and hire a host of notables to various governmental posts.
“I won’t have a cabinet; I will have a closet,” she said. " A giant walk-in closet with all styles of advisers, like Michael Kors, Kanye West, Diane von Furstenberg, Naughty by Nature, Stephen Hawking, Madonna, Karl Lagerfeld, and, of course, Tinkerbell.”
In the new Funnyordie.com clip set at Paris’ “pre-party for the party I’m throwing before the after party,” the heiress glammed up in a green strapless dress and a diamond necklace to speak with Martin.
“Sorry to drag you into the kitchen, but I need the advice of one of our greatest fake presidents,” she told Martin.
“Being a fake president is a lot harder today than it was when I was a fake president,” he warned Paris. “It was the go-go ‘90s – people invested in a Web site that sold pet food because a puppet told them to do it!”
But despite asking for advice, the celebuntante appeared to have things under control, offering her views on “fo-po” (“foreign policy, silly!”) and the economy.
“This is the biggest depression since ‘The Notebook,’” she said. “Maybe lower the inflated interest rates so it’s not impossible for [people] to pay their mortgage? It’s not as much money for the bank, but it’s better than no money at all – just ask MC Hammer.”
Clearly impressed, Martin gave Paris his blessing.
“I wouldn’t worry about a thing – you’re going to make a great fake president,” he said, before the pair were interrupted by Martin’s son, Charlie, who looked surprised to see his dad at a Paris party.
Nevertheless, Paris earned the younger Sheen’s support as well.
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