Top Ten TV Quotes Of The Week, 12/19/08

#10 -- “Sugar, you are an unemployed, uneducated leech on society and the only thing I would vote to give you is a handful of anti-depressants so that no one else has to be subjected to your constant crying anymore. And maybe if you got some then it would seem a little more sincere when you are crying about your dead father.”
-- CBS’s “Survivor: Gabon

“Survivor” contestant Corrine during the show’s finale to final four contestant Jessica “Sugar” Kiper. Host Jeff Probst called it the meanest thing ever said on “Survivor” in seventeen seasons (Clearly he forgot about Sue Hawk’s “rat and snakes” rant against Richard and Kelly in season one!).

VIEW THE PHOTOS: Week’s Best Star Sightings, Dec. 13 - 19, 2008

#9 — “Boo-yaaaaah!!!!!”
-- Showtime’s “Californication”

Hank Moody’s (David Duchovny) fist pumping reaction to seeing Sonja’s baby when it’s born mulatto, confirming that he is not, in fact, the father.

VIEW THE PHOTOS: Stars Of ‘The Hills’

#8 -- “I cannot have a black one. I can’t have an Asian one. I can’t have a fat butt girl. I just can’t see that white and black thing right now because of the kids. No Jewish girls. No way. I cannot stand them. I’m sorry but I can’t handle them. It has to be a white girl.”
-- NBC’s “Momma’s Boys”

Mrs. B’s (single guy Jojo’s mom) shocking and hateful rant about the girls she does not want her son to date on Ryan Seacrest’s dreadful new reality show.

#7 -- “I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy!”
-- CBS’s “The Big Bang Theory”

VIEW THE PHOTOS: The Latest Star Sightings

Sheldon Cooper’s overjoyed reaction to neighbor Penny’s Christmas gift of a dirty cloth napkin used by Leonard Nimoy and autographed for Sheldon.

#6 -- “What do you want? ‘This is CNN’ or ‘Luke, I am your father?’”
-- CBS’s “Two and A Half Men”

James Earl Jones to Alan Harper (Jon Cryer) who asks him to record a message for his answering machine at the fake funeral Charlie imagines for himself in a dream sequence.

#5 – “This is awkward”
-- CBS’s “Two and A Half Men”

Yes, a double dose from “Men.” Charlie Harper to his neighbor/longtime stalker friend Rose who he is down on one knee proposing to when he thinks he might die soon because of his womanizing & partying ways. He takes a phone call during it, gets a clean bill of health from his doctor and it was, ‘So long Rose!’

#4 — “It’s a secret Mexico wedding, its for us.”
-- MTV’s “The Hills

Uhhh, Yeah right! Spencer Pratt trying to convince Heidi Montag to marry him in a “secret” ceremony that somehow ended up as the cover of US Weekly. Gee, what a surprise!

#3 -- “You have no idea how many middle aged white men there are out there who have someone close to them that think they are a serial killer.”
-- CBS’s “Criminal Minds”

Emily Prentiss to Derek Morgan after receiving hundreds of phone calls from people who have seen their press conference looking for the “road warrior,” a road rage fueled serial killer.

# 2 -- “When the doctor told me that we would have to work with him to recover his memory, I was terrified. You know Jeremy wasn’t the fastest learner the first time around.”
-- ABC’s “Dirty Sexy Money”

Letetia Darling telling a TV reporter about having to help her son Jeremy through his amnesia - the result of Chase Alexander’s murderous rampage at Senator Darling’s inauguration.

# 1 -- “Now Carmelita is a legend when she would have been preferred to be a woman”
-- ABC’s “Dirty Sexy Money”

And yes a double dose from “Dirty” too! Senator Patrick Darling to a TV reporter. A subtle joke (by the show’s writers) about famous transgender actress Candis Cayne’s character Carmelita (his secret mistress) who died during the shooting rampage at the Senator’s inauguration. A take on Jackie Kennedy Onassis’ famous quote after the assassination of her husband JFK.

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