Dish Of Salt: Top Ten TV Quotes Of The Week

#10 -- “I’ve never executed a diaper change before. Of course, how hard can it be? You just unfastened these things then lay back with your legs in the air and let nature do the rest.” -- FOX’s “Family Guy”

Stewie Griffin trying to change his own diaper after his family goes on a vacation and accidentally leaves him home alone.

VIEW THE PHOTOS: ‘30 Rock’ Stars

#9 — “They should say revenge is best served a la commode.” — HBO’s “Entourage”

Johnny Drama to Turtle after Drama does a number two in Jason Patric’s trailer as revenge for him stealing all of Vince’s lines while filming “Smoke Jumpers”.


#8 – “I watched ‘Boston Legal’ nine times before I realized it wasn’t a new ‘Star Trek’.” -- NBC’s “30 Rock

Tracy Jordan to Liz Lemon on how he learned what the word mediation meant. (A reprise of the same line Jack Donaghy said to Liz in an episode last week!)

#7 -- “Alan, you’ve got a little evil on your face” — CBS’s “Two And A Half Men”


Charlie Harper to his smirking brother Alan after Alan learns his ex-wife kicked her new husband Herb out of the house.

#6 -- “Hypothetical. Ted isn’t pretending to be happy. Ted really is happy. He never wanted to get married in the first place. Ted just pulled off the greatest train dodge since ‘Stand By Me!’ Well not the first kid… but the other kids.” -- CBS’s “How I Met Your Mother”

Barney Stinson to Lily, Marshall and Robin as they watch Ted dance around in a bar clearly avoiding any pain he feels from being ditched at the altar by fiancee Stella.

#5 -- “I was there and that dude is not engaged. I’m not a big believer in therapy but I’d go into my own pocket to cover his co-pay.” — NBC’s “The Office”

Darryl Philbin to the cameras after he hears Michael lying to everyone about the fact that he and Holly Flax got engaged rather than broke up.

#4 — “You still don’t get it. Having sex for the first time shouldn’t be part of a competition to beat Muffy the Lacrosse-stitute.” — CW’s “Gossip Girl

Blair Waldorf to 15-year-old Emma who she winds up watching for the night in order to get on the good side of a Yale trustee. Emma is determined to beat her friend Muffy to losing her virginity.

#3 -- “Our love is like Tom and Katie’s. Oh wait, maybe that’s not the best example.” — NBC’s “Kath and Kim”

Kath Day to her daughter Kim Day on her relationship with her fiancé.

#2 -- “The failure is mine. Not yours.”   — Election Coverage

Senator John McCain to a crowd of thousands at his concession speech.

#1 -- “To those American’s whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.” — Election Coverage

President-Elect Barack Obama to a crowd of thousands at his acceptance speech in Chicago.

Thanks to staffer Celeste Anthony for her help this week!

Related Content from
PLAY IT NOW: Access Extended: Tina Fey Talks ‘30 Rock’
PLAY IT NOW: Access’ Obama Exclusive: Meet The New First Family

MORE ACCESS ON THESE TOPICS: Dish Of Salt - John McCain - Rock - Top Ten - Gossip Girl

Copyright NBCAH - Access Hollywood
Contact Us