The New York Post knows who you are and what you do.
Don't believe it? Check out the Post's generalizations about D.C.-area residents, which was published Sunday.
According to the New York rag, everyone who lives and works in the District can be lumped together into five categories: Lobbyist, Do-Gooder, Journalist, Hipster and Politico.
Do you work in politics on the Hill? Well then you obviously hang out at Tonic at Quigley's Pharmacy, Cafe Milano and the Capital Grille, you shop at Brooks Brothers and Ann Taylor and attend symphonies at the Kennedy Center on a nightly basis.
How about those in the non-profit sect? The New York Post tells you you frequent Eastern Market and Java Green, shop for clothes in Takoma Park and bike all weekend along the C&O Canal.
And as for the journalists, we apparently enjoy "inexpensive yet stylish duds" from H&M. Seriously? Have you seen my "wardrobe."
At least they got one thing right: We really do hang out at Solly's on U Street. But not with ABC news anchorwoman Pamela Brown. However, we'll let her buy us some drinks the next time we see her there...