There are no new reality shows anymore, just different versions of them. For instance, we don't even want to get started on "Rock of Love Bus."
But we can't ignore this trend when it threatens to invade our very homeland. DC has still been clinging to its last shred of innocence: No one wears rhinestone-encrusted Manolos to do the grocery shopping (yet). Hey, even M'Obama wears flats.
Today (get your hackles up and your skin crawling), cable TV network Bravo announced that it has a "Real Housewives of DC" show planned, as a companion to "Real Housewives of New York," "Real Housewives of Atlanta," "Real Housewives of New Jersey" and "Real Housewives of Orange County." Are there even any fake housewives LEFT?
Reports BravoTV.com's blog: "Bravo is scouting the D.C. area to identify the city's alluring and discriminating residents, those women who have their pulse on the most important cultural events, political galas, gallery openings and fundraisers in Washington society. These leading members of D.C. society are in the know and comfortable discussing everything from the economy to high fashion. They are the talk of the town in the most powerful city in the world."
Head, meet desk. Oh wait, we see you two are already acquainted.
In the meantime, we're going to make some recommendations for DC's edition of "Real Housewives":
Michelle Obama, One Housewife to Rule Them All: Aside from all the obvious reasons why she should clearly make it to the show, we also would love to take a gander at her workout routine and finally figure out how to get guns like hers. (Unfortunately, though, we suspect it might actually take something like effort, which is where we get lost.)
Ana Marie Cox, Nonstop Talking Head: She founded Wonkette and she knows how to bring the snark. OK, she's a little jittery for the camera, but that will just add a new layer of "reality" over everything. How to steal her away from Rachel Maddow, though?
Jessica Cutler, Former Goverment "Lady of the Night": In 2004, she was a Senate staffer with, um, a very different job with goverment officials at night. (Cough cough, nudge nudge.) Cutler was outed by Cox's blog, got fired, landed a book deal, and married some guy she met in a bar. She e-mailed the New York Daily News during her honeymoon to report she is pregnant. Ew. The baby drama and potential clashes with Cox could be good for ratings, though.
Kassie Rempel, Owner of SimplySoles: This wife and mom started her own shoe store, SimplySoles in Columbia Heights. The housewives will need a cute place to hang out other than a series of Georgetown rowhouses -- let's bring it to the shoe store and let pink Tory Burch espadrilles do some talking. Plus, the show will need a couple of cute kids running around.
Kate Michael, Our Paris Hilton With a Brain: Known as "K Street Kate," the former Miss DC is now a blog-tastic socialista and host of The District Dish. She's conveniently prominent on the charity-ball circuit. We're pretty sure she's not married, but that never stopped Bethenny Frankel.