When was the last time you had to think about applying sunscreen to your butt?
That long ago, huh?
Good thing it's time for the World Naked Bike Ride, a rich tapestry that weaves together the proud traditions of activism, legal loopholes and good old-fashioned nudity.
Local cyclists are meeting at 13th and K on Saturday to careen madly down metro streets with body parts flapping in the wind.
In other words, if you wear undies, you run the risk of feeling overdressed.
Folks have been eschewing their padded bike shorts across the globe since 2004, but DC didn't catch on until 2006. (As usual, this place has been behind the trends. Even the nude sexy ones.) More than 40 riders joined last year's ride, with 8-10 of them wearing what they called "the legal minimum. DC wants genitals covered, but most us the public thought we were nude. It was HOT!!"
We are pretty sure they're talking about the temperature. Pretty sure. Yeah.
Says the group's Wiki: "DC Indecent Exposure law has been interpreted to mean [that] one's genitals are covered (Duvallon v DC - 1986). [Men have] worn a tiny ... 'glove' in years past with no hassles. If followed, you need not worry about the police. Women may obviously go top-free. We will have a changing tent."
Wait wait wait. So ... women may OBVIOUSLY go top-free? This applies year-round, every day? Did people know this before? And why is the Metro so boring if that's the case?
But the ride's not just ALL about going sunnyside-up. Says the group's Web site: "We face automobile traffic with our naked bodies as the best way [of] exposing the unique dangers faced by cyclists and pedestrians...." Sorry, did they just say EXPOSING?
Regardless, DC police have always cooperated with the bike rides. Good thing, because if they didn't, could you imagine the mugshots?
What to Bring:
- body paint/markers
- signs (this IS an awareness-raising event, after all)
- water
- sunscreen
- helmet
- bike
Franklin Park
13th and K Streets NW
Saturday, June 13 at 3 p.m.
