A Festival Up Andrew Zimmern's Alley

Don't Think About Where Your Food's Been

Who would have thought a pile of testicles on a ranch corner would lead to a party?

Well, prepare yourselves, because the Montana State Society is serving 60 pounds of peeled, sliced and fried bull testicles at the seventh annual Testicle Festival this Saturday, June 11 -- also known as Testyfest -- and yes, we know it should be "Teste," but do you really wanna think about it that much?

“We offer all the Crown Royal you can drink and all the balls you can eat,” said Brittany Beaulieu, one of the organizers. The fest is expected to draw more than 500 people at the Arlington American Legion (3445 Washington Blvd., Arlington, Va.).

“It’s a great party in Montana,” Beaulieu said of the raucous affair held annually at the Rock Creek Lodge in the Big Sky State. “Why not try to recreate the same thing here in Washington? It’s unlike anything else out here.”

That's... well, that's definitely true.

The fried testes, which Beaulieu describes as “chewy” and tasting like chicken, will be served with a variety of different sauces for some added zing.

The PORC (Purveyors of Rolling Cuisine) mobile truck will be parked at the event to dish up customized menu items, including the Montana Ballmark Repair Tool. Jed Link, member of the Montana State Society, said it’s an “empty sandwich” with coleslaw and sauce in which the Rocky Mountain Oysters are to be stuffed.

This is as close to the real deal as you’re going to get, Link said. “There will be real Western people wearing cowboy hats. Real country music. Real country dancing.”

The event will not only bring together Montana transplants, but also locals “who want to experience a unique Western thing they never had the opportunity to enjoy,” Link said. “It’s an adventure.”

For those brave enough for a bite, doors open at 6 p.m. Tickets are $20 online and $25 at the door. You must be 21 to attend.

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