Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and eat raw brownie batter. The wife always says that raw eggs will give me food poisoning, but it ain’t stopped me yet! LET’S GO!
LADY GAGA PRESENTS THE MONSTER BALL TOUR: AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN – 9:00PM Saturday (HBO) Couldn’t afford to take out a second mortgage and see Lady Gaga live at Madison Square Garden back in February? Fear not. HBO has taken care of you, with a live special that promises you two straight hours of pure Gaga. It’s an economy-sized portion of costume changes, uptempo dance numbers, and excessive makeup. My theory is that Lady Gaga is actually a 68-year-old male record producer who knew the only way he could become a star was to dress up as an alien drag queen. ANTICIPATION: GAGA!
WILD ANIMAL REPO – 8:00PM Sunday (Discovery) Discovery’s latest reality series follows Scott Lope, who is an exotic animal repossessor. I did NOT know that that was an actual job someone could have. Are there really so many illegal exotic pets out there that someone can make a full-time job out of finding those pets and repossessing them? Well then, kudos to Scott for finding that particular niche. In the premiere, Scott takes back a bunch of bears, tigers, and monkeys. Never buy your monkey on bad credit. Scott will get ya. ANTICIPATION: BORN FREE!
THE KILLING – 10:00PM Sunday (AMC) Last week’s episode was something of a cliffhanger, with Stanley Larsen driving off with that no-good teacher. Is he gonna ice him? Because you know darn well the teacher’s innocent. Way too much time left in the season for him to be the guy. He’s a red herring. A big dreadlocked red herring, I tell you. Also, all the family scenes in this show ruin me. ANTICIPATION: DEVASTATING!
BEST IN SMOKE – 10:00PM Sunday (Food Network) Food Network’s latest competition is between six barbecue masters vying to be named the best BBQ chef in the universe. They had me at “smoke.” You could smoke drywall and I’d eat it. ANTICIPATION: SMOKEY GOODNESS!
MARTHA STEWART PRESENTS AMERICA’S MOMS: A CELEBRATION OF MILITARY FAMILIES WITH MICHELLE OBAMA AND JILL BIDEN – 8:00PM Sunday (Hallmark) The name of this special is so long, I think Stephen Colbert might have written it. Anyway, join Martha Stewart as she pays tribute to military moms with the First Lady and… uh… well, what do we call Jill Biden? Is she the Second Lady? Sounds awfully demeaning. How about Duchess? ANTICIPATION: MOTHER’S DAY!