Monday Watch List: Bloggers! Bachelors! Butcherings!

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV that may be worth staying in and polishing your Best Sound Mixing Oscar for. It’s so much heavier than you expected! LET’S GO!

HOUSE – 8:00PM (FOX)

House treats an avid blogger. Whoa! It’s like he’s treating me! Finally, I’ll be able to ask House why all the rooms at his hospital have sliding glass doors. Doesn’t that strike you as a horrible design flaw? How many wheelchairs get rolled through those things?

Anyway, since I’m a blogger, I’m hoping tonight’s patient isn’t automatically portrayed as fat, lazy, and living with his parents. That’s just such a tired cliché. A much FRESHER cliché is that he’s a scrawny little narcissist who lives in Brooklyn and does oceans of cocaine. ANTICIPATION: OOH! DIGG ME! PLEASE!

THE BACHELOR WEDDING – 8:00PM (ABC)

Jason and Molly get married. Such a touching love story. Boy meets girl. Boy meets 19 other girls. Boy picks different girl. Boy then swaps out other girl for original girl at the last second at the behest of a TV producer. Tugs at the ol’ heartstrings. Look for Trista Rehn to crash this wedding and shove her husband and kid in the camera’s face. ANTICIPATION: ZOMG!

CSI: MAMI – 10:00PM (CBS)

An unpopular receptionist is murdered. Why is she unpopular? Poor candy dish selection? Constant Bluetooth earpiece chatter? Excessive nail filing? ANTICIPATION: MYSTERIOUSNESS!

GOSSIP GIRL – 9:00PM (CW)

Rufus tries to avoid Lily. I’d have a much easier time watching this show without the voice-over “blogger.” It’s horrid. If you stumbled upon a blog written like that, how long before you clicked away? Half a nanosecond? The actual gossip girl makes Perez Hilton sound like Tolstoy. ANTICIPATION: BLAKE LIVELY RAWR

24 – 9:00PM (FOX)

A CTU employee is demoted. AND THEN TORTUUUUURED. What? No? Sorry. I just assumed torture was part of the plotline each week. ANTICIPATION: GET THE COMFY CHAIR!

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