Great, Your Flip-Flops Can Kill You

Even MORE good news!

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    Behold, the latest instrument of death.

    Two Daily News reporters bravely slapped around New York City in flip-flops, and sent the rubbery bundles of joy in for testing. Surprise, surprise, the flip-flops came back testing for Staphylococcus aureus.

    Reports the Daily News:

    The sandals took a trip on the F, A, C, G, 2 and 3 trains, went on walks through Prospect Park, out to bars in the West Village, to a Cyclones baseball game in Coney Island and rode the Cyclone. Twice. They even waded through a murky public restroom at the Coney Island subway station.

    The results? Pretty heinous.

    The $3.50 flip-flops harbored approximately 18,100 bacteria of the five most prevalent varieties found. (Unsurprisingly, the pair that made the trip to Coney Island and stopped off in the public restroom had roughly 13,900 more bacteria.)

    Listen, if you go into a Coney Island restroom, all bets are off. Seriously. Just dip your entire body in the garbage already.

    There are other, way more gross issues at hand (or foot, as the case may be) so read this at your own peril. ("Fecal matter" is mentioned. The less said about that, the better.)

    Experts said if the bacteria enters through a cut on the foot, a serious infection could lead to death. Even simple skin contact can cause infections.

    We'd like to think of this as another overly alarmist method of getting people out of ugly footwear -- remember that one kid whose foot was mangled by an escalator because he was wearing Crocs? That sounded pretty awful.

    But we've witnessed the rat parties in the alleyways of Adams-Morgan, and We Are Afraid.

    Next time we go out, we're wearing HAZMAT suits. With flip-flops. 'Cause we're not willing to give those up, ever.