Sure, the lines at Victoria's Secret might be a little longer right now. But it's not just humans flipping on the Barry White album around Valentine's Day.
And we've finally found something grosser than that couple making out in front of Jumbo Slice at 2 a.m.
"Seduction techniques abound in the animal kingdom," the National Zoo informs us, along with way too much information to prove their point.
Their list of "Critter Cupids" includes the following things you can never, ever unknow:
- A female red-sided garter snake releases potent pheromones when she's in the mood -- but this method might work a little too well. The method attracts about 20,000 males (not a typo!), who squirm together to form a giant "mating ball" around the female for the chance to become a dad. Romantic.
- Direct quote from the National Zoo: "Attention female giraffes: 'urine' good shape to attract a mate!" Male giraffes check if a female is in heat by nudging her and inducing urination -- they can tell by the smell. Some species will actually taste it, too. Who needs champagne with there's... urine?
- Oh, also? "Microscopic mites are having incestuous sex -- on our eyebrows." (Excuse us while we go take 50 showers.) A Demodex female mite can reproduce asexually if there are no males around. But then! Then! She will mate with her male offspring to produce the next generation. ("Luckily, they pose no known threat to our health. In fact, we may benefit from them feasting on our dead skin cells," the zoo says. We wish this made us feel any better.)
You can see the rest of the list here. But don't say we didn't warn you.