Competitive Eating Gone to the Dogs

Virginia man plans to set the bar for speed-eating dog biscuits

By Matthew Stabley
|  Thursday, Oct 15, 2009  |  Updated 7:46 PM EDT
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We'd pay to see him eat Alpo.

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RESTON, Va. -- Everybody's got a talent; everybody has dreams. Apparently, Mike Squier's talent is eating dog biscuits, and we imagine his dreams would be our worst nightmares.

Fairfax Underground reported that the Fairfax man plans to set a world record for dog biscuits eaten -- by a human -- in five minutes. Since Squier knows of no existing record, if he can stomach one he's a champ.

Don't retch, yet. It's not like he's chowing down on Milk-Bones. Squier's getting gourmet Scooby snacks from Tomoko Kawasumi, the owner and head chef at Organic Doggy Kitchen of Falls Church. If he planned on having a toilet nearby to wash 'em down, then we'd be impressed. And, you know, disgusted.

At least he's not doing this strictly for fame. It's a charity event to raise money for Save Our Siberians-Siberspace Rescue Fund, an organization that provides funds to Siberian husky rescue groups.

The event's scheduled for 2:30 p.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday at the Baron Cameron Dog Park, with the speed-eating from 3:30 p.m. to 3:35 p.m. The rain date is Oct. 24.

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