Hackers Are All A-Twitter

Fans of Bill-O and Britney receive surprising updates

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Don't fret, Bill O'Reilly loves the ladies. As for Britney's anatomical peculiarities, who knows?

    "Breaking: Bill O Riley is gay."

    That was briefly the top headline on Fox News' Twitter feed after hackers launched the first of their attacks on the micro-blogging site.

    That O'Reilly is gay, of course, is patently absurd. O'Reilly's love of both women and Middle Eastern cuisine are well documented. In October 2004, a former co-worker took the conservative pundit to court, accusing him of sexual harassment in the form of explicit phone calls in which he expressed a desire to wash the woman's nether regions with a spicy ball of mashed and fried fava beans.

    "And then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I’d put it on your [body] but you’d have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business…,” O'Reilly is alleged to have suggested.

    Britney Spears was the hackers' next target, as her personal feed briefly announced that a part of her body, which she has often flashed while getting in and out of cars, is "about 4 feet wide with razor sharp teeth."

    As for fans of CNN anchor Rick Sanchez, they were shocked to learn that he was "high on crack right now might not be coming into work today."

    What would possess someone to hack a Twitter feed? What's the motive?

    Refreshingly, the hackers appear to be driven by nothing more than a beautifully child-like mixture of joy and spite.