Everybody complains about their job, but the complaints tend to be so boring you end up nodding off next to the break room's chicken parm-caked microwave.
Seriously that's disgusting, clean it up.
Realizing not every office is so humdrum, Chicago-based job search company Careerbuilder.com surveyed hiring managers across the country to ask them about the top 20 strangest complaints they've received from employees.
"We received hundreds and hundreds of [answers]," said a CareerBuilder spokeswoman. "These are the best, or oddest, ones. We thought it'd be good to bring some laughter to the workplace."
The answers are ... strange, and range from criticism of personal appearance ("Employee is too sun-tanned", "Employee has big hair"), to moaning about obnoxious idiosyncracies ("Employee wants to check a co-worker for ticks"), to protesting holiday spirit, e.g., "Employee has bells on her shoes and it's not the holidays".
The answers also cover grumbling you'd hear in most workplaces ("using the ladies' room because the men's room is not as tidy"), before diverging into truly inspired objections, including:
- Employee suspected co-worker was a pimp
- Employee smells like road ramps
- Employee's aura is wrong
- Employee's body is magnetic and keeps de-activating my magnetic access card
- Co-Worker reminded employee too much of Bambi
Hmm. Hope co-worker wasn't carrying a shotgun. More:
- Employee is so polite, it's infuriating
- Employee is trying to poison me
- Employee is personally responsible for the federally-mandated tax increase
- Employee was annoyed the company didn't provide a place for naps during break time
- Employee only wears slippers or socks at work
- Employee breathes too loudly
- Employee wore pajamas to work
- Employee spends too much time caring for stray cats around the building
- 8 a.m. is too early to get up for work
But of the 20 complaint-worthy infractions noted by Careerbuilder, perhaps none is so commonplace and universally despised upon as this:
"Employee eats all the good cookies".