Getty: Kevork Djansezian/Staff
DeShawn Stevenson has seized the chance to display his diverse wardrobe.
Some teams limp into the NBA All-Star break. Others stagger. Some are on a roll. And some are in a full sprint.
The Wizards? Well, they've stumbled into the five-day break like a three-wheeled gurney being pushed by a half-blind, one-legged 80-year-old man, running into hospital walls along the way as he raps on the season's heart monitor in a feeble attempt to keep it going.
It ain't good.
No Wizard is being sent to any of the weekend's festivities. And the last time the Wiz won only 11 games heading into the break was in the 1994-95 season -- it's almost painful to look at the games played by those on the roster back then.
At least use of the term 'M*A*S*H Unit' has been limited when referring to the Wizards by media types. Good, because it's jumped the shark when applied to sports, and the Wiz wouldn't exactly be considered 'mobile' these days anyway.
But it's not just this year's mounting injuries. It's Caron Butler being hindered by a torn hip labral in last year's playoffs, along with the on again, off again act of Gilbert Arenas' knee. It's also Butler's broken hand and Arenas' knee in the '06-'07 playoffs. One could go on and on ...
This franchise has a history of absurd and untimely mishaps. Ever hear the story about how Pervis Ellison was eating chicken while driving to a game, lost control of the wheel due to grease on his hands, and got in a wreck, leaving him unable to play?
What's next? Andray Blatche breaking a leg dancing at the club? Wizards fans wouldn't be surprised.