StanSpeak: State of the Nats

When Stan Kasten speaks to the masses, like on Tuesday, the StanSpeak Translator is never very far.  As always, it takes his comments, and spits out what he's really trying to say.  "His" thoughts are italicized: 

On the parking garage tent that blocks the ballyhooed Capitol view for most fans:

First of all, it only blocks the view for a small number of people since most people couldn't see the dome in the first place.  Fortunately, your view of the game, field and scoreboard remains unobstructed and spectacular if you ignore the crappy players and the 102 losses. ... On balance, it's a much greater positive for a greater number of our richest fans than it is a negative to you freeloaders.  And please don't point out the big empty roof on the other garage, where a tent wouldn't block anyone's views.

On blogs:

I like blogs and read them, probably too many of them. You just have to keep all of them in the proper prospective -- like underneath my shoe.

On concessions problems in the upper deck:

[I]n general, we had a long way to go in terms of customer service for concessions which bleeds me of my previous revenues. I didn't make a big deal about it publicly, but internally we did spend a lot of time and effort in the off-season trying to rectify our problems, including thinking about suing the city again for the hell of it.  So hurry up and buy stuff before Uncle Teddy forces me to file.

On what sets Nats Park apart:

I think it's a great FANS stadium. I love the entry plaza with all the cash-related activity out there -- over-priced pregame-food, music, entertainment, games, mascots, including ones you can buy, pregame television show -- it's a great addition to a ballpark for fans that helps distract you from the sub-par play. Once you're inside the bowl, you have the monster scoreboard on one side and the cherry blossoms on the other side, and a giant crap sandwich in between..

On the Nats' chances and where they correspond to his (Well, Schuerholz's and Cox's great Braves teams):

[T]here came a moment five years after I became president in Atlanta when young players were ready to contribute and it all just clicked. ... [I]t all fit together with young pitchers. That's what I am looking for in '09 and beyond the clicking point for our young pitchers.  Jordan Zimmermann = John Smoltz.  John Lannan = Tom Glavine.  Scott Olsen = Steve Avery.  Danny Cabrera = Charlie Liebrandt.  It's a beautiful plan that cannot fail.  CANNOT.  FAIL.  (Even I don't believe the crap I say sometimes!)

Chris Needham used to write Capitol Punishment.  Shadowy figures gave him the StanSpeak Translator many years ago.

Copyright NBC Owned Television Stations

Leave Comments