Skins' Sign Policy Prevents Paper Cuts

Certainly this couldn't be a free speech issue; it's about safety

By CHRIS NEEDHAM

Updated 11:45 AM EST, Wed, Oct 28, 2009

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It's a good thing Dan Snyder's lawyers are here to protect us. His highly paid and brilliant legal minds are working hard to eliminate the scourge of papercuts from this planet.

Who among us has not suffered the nasty gash on our hands, bleeding and oozing, causing untold pain to hundreds and thousand, no, make that millions of innocent victims.

With all that misery in mind, the Redskins' lawyers are seeing fit to declare FedEx Field the first "Papercut Free Zone" in this beautiful country. We should all applaud their foresight and vision and their dedication to eradicating the untold destruction and wasted plasma of papercuts.

How are this brilliant legal and medical minds doing it? By banning any and all signs.

In an interview with 106.7, as relayed by the Bog, one of the Skins head lawyers reinforced the policy:

"We DO have a prohibition against signs and banners in the stadium, and we don't care what they say, we take 'em down. They get in the way of other people viewing the game, and people get poked in the head. That stuff happens. We have an absolute prohibition. We don't care what [the signs] say."

They're just looking out for you.

And truthfully, though the team is far too modest to admit it, this isn't just about papercuts, but eye gouges. The corners of poster boards come to a little sharp point. An improper swipe, and BAM! There goes an eyeball. And frankly, no Redskins fan should want to see an eyeball pop out at a football game.

So criticize Snyder's actions all you want, but you're missing the point. Redskins fans today are safer than they ever have been thanks to this man's efforts. Applaud him. Salute him.

No longer are you at risk of being damaged and hurt by the capricious way with which fans wave around their deadly eye-piercing weapons. And if Snyder continues on his current path, he'll ensure that you'll no longer risk being hurt by fans at FedEx entirely -- though you'll have to be careful not to trip over those empty seats.

Copyright NBC Local Media

First Published: Oct 28, 2009 9:28 AM EST

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0 Comments

{"totSize":8,"payload_type":"json","status":"1","results":[{"anonName":null,"pathToMedia":"331759_66905947","adminTags":null,"views":559,"createdBy":7918844,"createdByPathToPhoto":"116995/icons/defaultMember_116995_portrait.jpg","assocMediaId":null,"mediaName":"Skins' Sign Policy Prevents Paper Cuts","parentThreadId":null,"mediaId":2582897,"tags":null,"anonSiteUrl":null,"assocMediaType":null,"createdAt":"28 Oct 2009 16:43:05 GMT","anonEmail":null,"isVisible":true,"approved":true,"numComments":5,"reviewed":true,"createdByUsername":"anonymous_user","pathToPreview":"","mediaType":"EXTERNALMEDIA","commentId":"1145198","subject":"","averageRating":0,"body":"Yeah, if those signs were banned before, how'd they get in? Doesn't look like they were folded up in someone's pocket. This is outrageous. Soon I suppose we'll start hearing about slander suits being initiated against fans. Unfortunately for Snyder, you can't sue if what is said is true."},{"anonName":null,"pathToMedia":"331759_66905947","adminTags":null,"views":559,"createdBy":9235130,"createdByPathToPhoto":"116995/icons/defaultMember_116995_portrait.jpg","assocMediaId":null,"mediaName":"Skins' Sign Policy Prevents Paper Cuts","parentThreadId":null,"mediaId":2582897,"tags":null,"anonSiteUrl":null,"assocMediaType":null,"createdAt":"28 Oct 2009 17:35:25 GMT","anonEmail":null,"isVisible":true,"approved":true,"numComments":5,"reviewed":true,"createdByUsername":"mrsbeasley","pathToPreview":"","mediaType":"EXTERNALMEDIA","commentId":"1145660","subject":"","averageRating":0,"body":"Oh, isn't Snyder desperate? Without the fans who pay enormous $$ for those tickets he wouldn't have a team. The signs have always been a way to express ourselves. It just goes to show you that the truth hurts."},{"anonName":null,"pathToMedia":"331759_66905947","adminTags":null,"views":559,"createdBy":7918844,"createdByPathToPhoto":"116995/icons/defaultMember_116995_portrait.jpg","assocMediaId":null,"mediaName":"Skins' Sign Policy Prevents Paper Cuts","parentThreadId":null,"mediaId":2582897,"tags":null,"anonSiteUrl":null,"assocMediaType":null,"createdAt":"28 Oct 2009 19:45:00 GMT","anonEmail":null,"isVisible":true,"approved":true,"numComments":5,"reviewed":true,"createdByUsername":"anonymous_user","pathToPreview":"","mediaType":"EXTERNALMEDIA","commentId":"1146802","subject":"","averageRating":0,"body":"and FedEx won't be the fist stadium in our fair country to go without signs --- Aloha Stadium in Hawaii is... and they've been sign free for 15 years But really Dan --- face the truth!!! and perhaps take some lessons from some real owners (i.e., the Rooneys, or Jim Irsay (though we agree we didn't like the quick move of the Colts --- the ownership theory apply)) --- you can start with your GM and up it one by selling the team!!!"},{"anonName":null,"pathToMedia":"331759_66905947","adminTags":null,"views":559,"createdBy":7918844,"createdByPathToPhoto":"116995/icons/defaultMember_116995_portrait.jpg","assocMediaId":null,"mediaName":"Skins' Sign Policy Prevents Paper Cuts","parentThreadId":null,"mediaId":2582897,"tags":null,"anonSiteUrl":null,"assocMediaType":null,"createdAt":"28 Oct 2009 22:09:53 GMT","anonEmail":null,"isVisible":true,"approved":true,"numComments":5,"reviewed":true,"createdByUsername":"anonymous_user","pathToPreview":"","mediaType":"EXTERNALMEDIA","commentId":"1147750","subject":"","averageRating":0,"body":"Are you bloggers serious? If i paid an exorbitant amount of $$ to watch a game and one of these signs were in my way i would have taken it down myself. If this is the only way to express your support for your team then your a sad bunch indeed. You can talk about your personal views all you want but that doesn't mean the masses have to be subjected to it. You wouldn't want me to show up with a Redskins suck poster... do you? Anonymous at 12:43... your analogy of a slander suit initiated by fans is quite stupid."},{"anonName":null,"pathToMedia":"331759_66905947","adminTags":null,"views":559,"createdBy":13948560,"createdByPathToPhoto":"116995/icons/defaultMember_116995_portrait.jpg","assocMediaId":null,"mediaName":"Skins' Sign Policy Prevents Paper Cuts","parentThreadId":null,"mediaId":2582897,"tags":null,"anonSiteUrl":null,"assocMediaType":null,"createdAt":"29 Oct 2009 03:00:44 GMT","anonEmail":null,"isVisible":true,"approved":true,"numComments":5,"reviewed":true,"createdByUsername":"coolbeans","pathToPreview":"","mediaType":"EXTERNALMEDIA","commentId":"1149121","subject":"","averageRating":0,"body":"So, here is the deal - timing is everything! Snyder could have banned tailgating, bags, and signs - a long time ago - he chose now when everyone is finally realizing and vocalizing that ownership of this team is killing the team! Snyder is just trying to ensure that signs revealing how much the fans hate ownership will not be televised. This is only an act of damage control on Snyders part. As someone who has attended many a game at RFK, Jack Kent Cooke Stadium/ Fedex Field - most redskin fans are pretty nice about moving signs, attire and other props when asked. So this is not about the fan experience - . We don't need some Jerry Jones wannabe running this team. "}],"error":"","totPages":2}