Peyton Manning For Colts HC!

Peyton could turn around the NFL's worst team -- as Andrew Luck's mentor

By Drew Magary
|  Tuesday, Dec 6, 2011  |  Updated 2:48 PM EDT
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Peyton Manning For Colts HC!

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FOXBORO, MA - DECEMBER 4: Peyton Manning #18 of the Indianapolis Colts has words with Dan Orlovsky #6 of the Indianapolis Colts in the first half at Gillette Stadium on December 4, 2011 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)

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Power rankings. You hate them. They’re so arbitrary and pointless, especially when they include all 32 NFL teams. All you want to know after a good week of NFL action is who the bestest team in the NFL right now, and which one is the absolute barrel-scraping worst. The one so terrible, it could be served on a Romano's Macaroni Grill menu. That’s why we have TOP AND BOTTOM OF THE NFL, where we go to great lengths to tell you who’s the top dog in football right now, this very minute. LET’S GO!

THE TOP: Green Bay Packers

I was in Milwaukee last week (LAND OF CHEESE), and I took the opportunity to ask many Packers fans I came across (shockingly not that fat!) whether or not they thought the team would try and go undefeated and if they wanted them to go for it. The answer was pretty much unanimous. Every Packers fan thought the team was gonna go for 16-0, and none of them had a problem with it. And really, you're not going to find a more objective analysis of the Packers than you will from DRUNKEN PACKERS FANS.

But they're right! The team is gonna go for 16-0, and you know why? BECAUSE YOU MAY AS WELL. Seriously, there are good arguments to be made for both going for it and for resting, but why not go with the option that FEELS the best? If you go for 16-0 and fail, at least you had a good time shooting for it. Going for an unbeaten season is more FUN, and that's really the only argument worth hearing.

THE BOTTOM: Indianapolis Colts

Let's assume they're gonna fire Jim Caldwell, because they NEED to fire Jim Caldwell and take his body to the coroner before it begins stinking up the joint. They're gonna need a new coach, one who will presumably help tutor Andrew Luck for the next decade. Someone who knows the position inside and out. Someone who will be able to perfectly prepare Luck for taking over for a legend. You know who the perfect candidate is? You guessed it: PEYTON MANNING.

Crazy, OR CRAZY AWESOME?! Peyton retires, takes over the head coaching spot, and then spends the next ten years molding Luck in his image. IT CAN WORK.

Okay, it probably can't work. It would probably fail spectacularly. And yet, this is the scenario I want the most for the Colts, because I'm weird.

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