Minor Leaguers Play the Name Game

View Comments (
)
|
Email
|
Print

    NEWSLETTERS

    TK
    Getty Images

    Strange names and sports go together like popcorn and a movie, and the finest celebration of awkward sports names is once again under way.

    MinorLeagueBaseball.Com recently launched the fourth annual, “Minors Moniker Madness,” a 64-player field of contenders, which will once again determine the most ridiculous name in minor league baseball.
    Public address announcers and play-by-play broadcasters have been stumbling over -- and laughing at -- these names all season. Now you get to vote for the name you’d most like to hear come over the loud-speaker at a ballpark near you.
    This year’s bracket includes a pitcher named Outman (Zach) and a batter named Batts (Stephen). Outdoorsmen will like Shooter Hunt, and just about everybody else can enjoy Boomer Potts.
    Winter is represented by Forrest Snow, the No. 1 seed in the Natty Nattress bracket. But you can also vote on behalf of bodies of water, thanks to Junior Lake, the No. 5 seed in the Razor Shines bracket.
    Patriotic fans can pull for Blake Nation and John McCain advocates can support Maverick Lasker’s cause. Our readers in Iowa will likely back Drew Cornstubble, and our unruly visitors should probably submit a vote for Rowdy Hardy.
    Norris Hopper (a former major leaguer with the Reds) sounds athletic, and C.J. Riefenhauser sounds like a drink.
    Bubbie Buzachero and Dock Doyle are fun to say and Mark Hamburger and Mike Piazza sound like they should be on a restaurant menu. For the record, this isn’t your Mike Piazza. This is another one. That’s not a joke.
    With every food-like name, one that sounds like silverware becomes a necessity, right? This year’s bracket delivers: Chorye Spoone – a farmhand in the Orioles’ system – is the No. 4 seed in the Icicle Reader portion of the bracket.
    Rappers will vote for Will Ryhmes, and big tobacco will support Josh Smoker (of Nationals fame). Car aficionados will try to ride Beamer Weems to a victory, while writers will more than likely scribble Stephen King’s (also a National) name on their bracket.
    But as giving a as Gift Ngoepe seems to be, I’m going to pull for Zelous Wheeler.  
    It’s too late to come off as overzealous (Wheeler?). Voting’s been under way for a few days.
    Your chance to fill out your own all-name lineup card is now.