Somewhere near Sterling, Va., an Old Country Buffet quietly raised its alarm system to DefCon 3. Mike Holmgren, the walrus-like former coach of the Seahawks and Packers, might be on his way to D.C, at least according to Peter King as relayed by profootballtalk.com.
Here's what everyone's favorite latte-sipper told Sirius Radio:
"I've heard a lot of people say in the last few days, 'Oh, Holmgren wouldn't want to go to Washington.' Keep one thing in mind in December when all this stuff starts to go down. Remember where you heard this. Mike Holmgren last year, Thanksgiving weekend, I'm sitting in his office in Seattle and he says, 'You know, I'm going to take this next year off but after that I'll give you a cool little theory for what I might do.' I said, 'What?' And he says, 'I've coached in the Midwest with Green Bay and I grew up playing and coaching out west -- Brigham Young, the 49ers, Seattle.' And he said, 'I'd really love to try the East Coast. That brand of football where you wake up on Sunday morning and it's the most important thing. There aren't 800 things to do. Where you're in East Rutherford or Philly or Washington and it's so important.'
"He said, 'I'd really love to try football on the East Coast.' So do not eliminate Mike Holmgren when you start talking about coaching candidates for Dan Snyder."
An out-of-shape coach who sort of mailed it in during his last season or two with one eye constantly on retirement who's in his 60s and who'll demand a big contract? Sign us up!
Actually... Hmm... Fat, lazy and overpaid? Yeah, he'd be the perfect Danny signing.
Beyond the fat jokes, there's a certain part of this that would make sense for the Skins. Someone like Holmgren isn't going to come just for the fun of it. He's the kind of coach -- as are Mike Shanahan or Bill Cowher, the other two frequently dropped names -- who will want total control of roster decisions.
And that would likely mean no more Vinny Cerrato.
So, yeah, sign us up.
PFT goes on to speculate (translation: pulls stuff out of his butt) that the Skins might pull the trigger on Holmgren sooner rather than later, ensuring that he doesn't roll around on the open market in the offseason.
If that were to happen, Holmeslice's offensive scheme is Jim Zorn's offensive scheme. So much of the concern about changing styles mid-season would go away.
That scenario's not likely to happen, but when you've got reporters tracking down the whereabouts of Snyder's plane, who knows anymore?