Lazy? Nats Might Just Be Your Team

4 out of 5 laziest players were Nats

By CHRIS NEEDHAM

Updated 1:01 PM EDT, Wed, Aug 26, 2009

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Looking for work? Underemployed? Not making the most of your talents? You with the MBA filling out that expense reimbursement form for your boss! Hey, you with the art history degree making your third pot of coffee for the day! Yeah, you over there sitting on the couch watching Judge Judy reruns!

Have we got the job for you...

Ever considered working in professional baseball? If you're lazy and unmotivated to excel, the Washington Nationals might just have the position you're looking for.

Sports Illustrated (as relayed by Circling the Bases) recently took a poll of major league players to find out which of their colleagues does the least with the most talent. And wouldn't you know it, it's something the Nats excel in.

Four of the top five have worn the Nats uniform. Yay for achievement!

Number one on the list is Jim Bowden's white whale, Wily Mo Pena. His prodigious power tantalized and teased everyone (while making Jimbo's heart go pitter-pat), but his inability to develop any grasp of the strike zone killed that.

Number two? Danny Cabrera. The only mystery with his selection is how he managed to fool any of the players into thinking he had talent in the first place. Maybe he threw hard five years ago, but all Nats fans saw was a junk-balling righty with less command than the Skipper on Gilligan's Island.

Elijah Dukes is number four on the list. Perhaps he's on it fairly. Nobody doubts his talent; it's his attitude and health that people question.

Mike MacDougal strangely rounds out the list. He throws hard, and he had a good season or two ages ago, but is it a case of him not maximizing his talent, or of him just not being very good?

The Nats' "success" on the list is a testament to Jim Bowden. Three of the four were brought in by the disgraced GM, and the fourth (MacDougal) is here because of Bowden's other roster follies.

Jimbo thought he could polish any stone into a gem, even if all he had in his hand was a cow pie.

So if the thought of finding a job where maximizing your laziness appeals to you, sorry. Under Mike Rizzo's new regime, the Nats hope to not dominate this list in the future. So back to Judge Judy for you.