Right about now, as Gilbert Arenas prepares to be sentenced for a gun incident in the Wizards locker room, a book touting his success probably wouldn't find its way onto the New York Times bestseller list.
And for that very reason, it appears we may not ever get to read the page-turner Agent Zero wrote (with help from DJ Gallo) called "Score Like Agent Zero."
The book is still listed on Amazon.com, but you can't pre-order it. And while it has a new release date of "April 24, 2012," there is another strong hint that the book will end up alongside the ill-fated "Tiger Woods Guide to a Happy Marriage" and Mark McGwire's "How To Stay Fit the Natural Way."
Among court documents submitted on Arenas's behalf by his legal team with hopes of him avoiding jail time is a letter written by the NBA star's literary agent. Will Sherlin wrote to the judge in the case, asking that he "consider the entire tapestry of Gilbert's character and life" when making his ruling.
But Sherlin also broke the news that the autobiography was going to be canceled by the publisher.
"The book was scheduled to be released in 2008," Sherlin wrote, "but a rash of injuries and the vagaries of scheduling a publishing date intervened for more than two years. Now, in the wake of Gilbert's guilty plea, Random House intends to cancel the book altogether."
Alas, we may never get to read Gil's manifesto. Sticking with the joking theme that has been much of Arenas's defense the past few months, Sherlin called the book "a parody of the self-help books written by players and coaches alike in recent years."
But the page on Amazon gives us a brief look at what we will miss:
"Hello there. Yes, you. How are you? I am Gilbert Arenas. Thank you for picking up my book and opening the cover. You have just taken a major step toward improving your life. What you hold in your hands is the self-help book to end all self-help books. The lessons found inside helped to take me, Gilbert Arenas, from being a skinny, overlooked high school basketball player, to being told in college that he wasn’t good enough to start, to being an NBA superstar.
I went from zero to hero. In fact, I went from zero to hero to Agent Zero."
And perhaps now, in the next chapter, back to zero again.