Dan Snyder: Nats Owner?

Oy, what could've been!

By CHRIS NEEDHAM

Updated 10:45 AM EST, Fri, Oct 30, 2009

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Can you imagine how bad things would be if Danny Snyder ran the other teams in town?

Would the Caps have traded the draft pick that netted them Alex Ovechkin for Alexi Yashin? Would they have done something crazy like tried to build a team around Jaromir Jagr? Oh...wait...

Would the Wiz look like the Knicks of the last few years? Instead of Gilbert Arenas running the show, we'd have Stephon Marbury?

For the Nats, though, the scenario isn't all that far-fetched, as Hogs Haven found out. Back in 2003, Dan Snyder was set to become a minority partner in Robert Johnson's (go Bobcats!) attempt to buy the Expos and move them to D.C.

Oy! Can you imagine?

HH notes a few potential Snyderisms that would've taken hold:

* The "Red Loft" and "Red Porch" bars would of course be named something idiotic like the "Geico Loft" and the "Taco Bell Porch"
* Local food varieties such as Ben's Chili Bowl, Five Guys, and Hard Times Cafe will be replaced by Johnny Rockets and Hooters
* Pictures with the Nationals Mascot, "Screech brought to you by Bank of America," cost: $5 for adults....$3 for kids...$1 if it's the kid's birthday

Baseball doesn't have a salary cap. Can you imagine Snyder's eyes lighting up each year when the player market opens up? He'd look like the fat kid from Willy Wonka.

He'd have spent outrageous sums of money last year on players -- bringing the big-name pitchers like CC Sabathia and AJ Burnett. He'd probably have signed the big bat on the free-agent market, too -- someone like Mark Teixeira.

Hmm... That doesn't seem so bad, does it?

But in reality, his problem isn't his willingness to spend money. It's his inability to put people around him who know what the hell they're doing. He'd be a lot closer to the late-'90s Orioles than to today's Yankees. Syd Thrift = Vinny Cerrato?

The Nats under Snyder would've signed Barry Zito to that monster contract. We'd have Carlos Silva and many other over-priced mediocrities.

The bright side if Snyder would've been owner? MLB doesn't let you trade draft picks, so there wouldn't have been any Jason Taylor-like deals. Phew.

But still... is it better to have a free-spending incompetent owner, or a penny-pinching semi-competent one? There's no good answer to that one, if you're a fan.