DARPA to Prey on Ballston

DOD's research arm has a new HQ

By Chris Needham
|  Wednesday, Oct 28, 2009  |  Updated 4:15 PM EDT
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DARPA to Prey on Ballston

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They're coming for you.

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Look out, BallstonDARPA's coming for your soul.

The Shooshan Company broke ground Wednesday on a new headquarters for the Department of Defense's black-box research program, DARPA, reports the Washington Business Journal. 

What's DARPA?  They're the fine folks who brought us the Internet, the stealth fighter and Area 51.  OK, we're kidding on the last one.  Please don't audit us!

When you think DARPA, think of Norman Osborne from Spider-Man.  That's the kind of company that DARPA would've funded.  So if the Green Goblin ever breaks loose, point to Ballston as the epicenter.

The building meets DOD's stringent anti-terrorism standards, so instead of miles of endless Jersey barriers, they'll have pretty trees and planters blocking off vehicular access to the building.

The building's developers also hope that it meets LEED Silver standards for environmentally friendliness.  So you can rest assured that tomorrow's world-destroying technologies will be developed with energy efficiency in mind.

DARPA aims to move in by 2012, and if you don't mind living near its spooks, it's part of a larger mixed-use development called Founders Square.

And if you do mind, since you're reading this, they're probably tracking you anyway, reading your thoughts.  Be happy.  Be happy.

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