Man, does this city need money or what? For so many years people could stumble the streets in front of cops, drive their cars on sidewalks, park on top of the Lincoln memorial, bike into the White House, you name it, without fear of law enforcement and its resulting fines. But amidst the Great Recession, enforcement is back in swing, and city officials are doing all sorts of wacky things like programming parking meters with artificial intelligence and attaching eagle-eyed Ticket Robots to the already annoying street sweepers.
With today's latest enforcement announcement, however, it gets much worse, and you're probably better off staying indoors forever, because entering the public domain and proceeding in any sort of forward motion will get you fined hundreds of dollars.
Drivers, bikers and jaywalkers, beware. Officials around the region are planning to enforce traffic rules to reduce the number of pedestrians and cyclists hit on the area’s roads.
The number of fatal crashes is dropping around the Washington area, officials said Wednesday as they kicked off their annual Street Smart campaign for pedestrian and bike safety. Still, they are trying to get the word out for everyone to obey the traffic laws to reduce the danger.
Oh how clever, the way they chalk it up to "public safety." No one much cared about the hazards of jaywalking before the housing industry eliminated all public money in recent months.
And starting in November, penalties are going up, so be extra careful not to run over anyone with your car after November.
At least bikers will finally get caught for going through red lights, which is all they ever do, regardless of the traffic situation. Hippies are so selfish like that.
Jim Newell does not care for "moving" as he blogs for Wonkette and IvyGate.
