Punchlines ripped from the headlines

"SNL" Provides More Political Parody With Speech From Weak "Obama"

Says jobs bill speech got him “jack and squat"

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    Actor Fred Armisen of "Saturday Night Live" speaks during day 13 of the NBC Universal 2008 Summer Television Critics Association Press Tour held at the Beverly Hilton hotel on July 20, 2008 in Beverly Hills, California.

    With the presidential election dominating the headlines, the newest episode of “Saturday Night Live” began with more political parody – this time focusing not on the Republican field but on the struggling Democratic incumbent, Barack Obama.

    After two years of reports about low consumer confidence, people turned out in droves to spend on Black Friday, said a somewhat perplexed “Obama” (again played by Fred Armisen).

    “Suddenly I see thousands of you are at Wal-Mart pepper-spraying each other for an XBox. Which is it?” he asked in the show’s cold open.

    He made a halfhearted plug for his stalled jobs bill, noting that his big speech for it in September got him two things – “jack and squat.”

    Armisen’s Obama then turned to the prospect that the Supreme Court could kill his healthcare bill in its upcoming term.

    “That’s right, take my signature piece of room into a room and quietly shoot it like Joe Pesci in ‘Good Fellas,’” he remarked.

    The presidential character went on to clear up misconceptions about the purported power of his job. He released a list of “America’s Most Powerful” topped by Congress, which he said does nothing but prevents anyone else from doing anything either.

    “They’re like Hotel California. Legislation checks in, and it never leaves,” he zinged.

    Republican antitax guru Grover Norquist was #2 on the list, followed at #3 by Oprah, and then by the NFL, Mark Zuckerberg, and the Supreme Court.

    Tyler Perry was ninth, and “Verizon Customer Service” was tenth.

    “And finally me, the president. Barely above Pippa Middleton, and the Kia Gerbils,” Obama said. “See, I may not have all the power I used to, but I still have more than all of the Republican candidates combined.”