Punchlines ripped from the headlines

A Primary Race in Flux Means Every Candidate Gets Mocked

Jay Leno didn't forget to rib any of the GOP's three major contenders for the presidential nomination

By Sam Schulz
|  Friday, Feb 10, 2012  |  Updated 7:32 AM EDT
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A Primary Race in Flux Means Every Candidate Gets Mocked

NBC

Jay Leno didn't let any of the GOP candidates off the hook Thursday night.

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No GOP presidential candidate except Ron Paul made it out of Jay Leno's monologue Thursday unscathed — but Mitt Romney, whose campaign took a hit with big losses Tuesday, got the brunt of the heat.

On "The Tonight Show," Leno front-loaded his monologue with plenty of jokes on the struggling front-runner.

"A man by the name of Felix Baumgartner hopes to set a world record by parachuting out of a balloon from over 20 miles high. He hopes to break the record for longest free-fall, currently held by Mitt Romney," he joked.

Romney's campaign has been trying to regroup, and refocus its attacks, in the week of a projected triple victory by Rick Santorum in Tuesday's primary and caucuses.

"Mitt Romney said he learned something: There are some things that money can't buy, like Colorado, Minnesota and Missouri," Leno continued.

"Mitt Romney's in bad shape! He got beat up so bad on Tuesday that today he asked if he was covered by ObamaCare," Leno said. "But he is not quitting. Romney says he will keep fighting, and you can take that all the way to the Swiss bank."

Perennially pious Rick Santorum got his turn in the spotlight, too. ("They asked Rick Santorum if he believed his campaign was evolving but, you know, he doesn't believe in evolution.")

So did the perennially philandering Newt Gingrich, despite his dismal showing Tuesday. ("In terms that Newt can understand, I think the voters told Newt they want to start seeing other candidates.")

Check out the clip below.

 

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