UGLY MUG: Look, you don't live in Brooklyn, and there's only so hipsterish you can get living this close to the other Williamsburg (the Busch Gardens one, that is). Don't try to grow an ironic moustache when you've got a government job. Just don't. However! The never-ending stream of moustache merch that's been coming our way lately should be balm on your I-can't-wear-plaid-flannel-to-work-in-this-town problem. Via Outblush, we present to you moustache mugs, which come in sets of two ($27), with a different 'stache on two different sides. Choose from the Fu-Magnum, the Mustafa-Chaplin or the Maurice-Poirot. GET IT: ThirdDrawerDown.com.