Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and survive Day 6 of the FLUPOCALYPSE. I never want to see a bowl of chicken soup ever again. Unless there’s a hot dog floating in the center of it. LET’S GO!
PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARDS – 9:00PM (CBS) CBS’ annual demonstration that the majority of Americans have awful taste and really don’t belong anywhere near a voting booth celebrates its 37th year of making you shake your head. Among the nominees are Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner (Favorite Actor), Katherine Heigl (Favorite Actress), Jersey Shore and Keeping Up With The Kardashians (Favorite TV Guilty Pleasure), “Prince of Persia” (Favorite Action Movie), “Sex and the City 2” and “Valentine’s Day” (Favorite Comedy Movie), Nickelback (Favorite Rock Band), and so, so many more crimes against humanity. It’s not so much an award show as it an indictment of us all. ANTICIPATION: TERROR!
PRIMETIME: CELEBRITY WEIGHT LOSS: WHAT REALLY HAPPENS – 10:00PM (ABC) Ever wonder how all those celebrities manage to get so thin right after giving birth and then showing off their bodies on the cover of US Weekly? What’s that? You already know they manage to do it because it’s a combination of surgery and Photoshop and lying and extreme eating disorders? Yes well, that’s true. But don’t forget about gaining all the weight BACK, and all sorts of other cool things. Tonight, Cynthia McFadden spends an hour with the likes of Ricki Lake and Kendra Wilkinson exploring the topic. Bring dip. ANTICIPATION: FAT THEN THIN!
LAW & ORDER: SVU – 9:00PM (NBC) Everything is all new tonight, including this two-hour episode of the NBC stalwart. Guest starring as tonight’s victim is Drea de Matteo, who plays an abused wife. Dude, after getting shot in the woods by Silvio and forced to star on “Joey,” hasn’t the lady been through enough? ANTICIPATION: DREA!
MY STRANGE ADDICTION – 9:00PM (TLC) A 44-year-old woman has been eating household cleaner for 32 years. And if that household cleaner is Lemon Pledge, I approve. It smells like fresh pie, I tell you. Don’t tell me she’s into Soft Scrub. Now that would be gross. ANTICIPATION: SHINIEST ESOPHAGUS EVER!
TOP CHEF – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) No more Spike? But he was so weaselly! His beard looked so unkempt! Anyway, tonight the chefs have to work the dim sum shift in Chinatown. I saw the preview. Lotta angry Chinese folks. ANTICIPATION: SOUPY BUNS!