Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and gorge yourself on smokehouse almonds. Can anyone just eat one smokehouse almond? You’d have to be Iron Man to have such willpower. LET’S GO!
MAN VS. WILD – 9:00PM (Discovery) Bear Grylls and his enormous nose return to TV with another season of the greatest survival show in the universe. In the season premiere, Bear is dropped into the Western Pacific Ocean, just south of Papua/New Guinea, and forced to fend for himself out in the middle of the sea. He also builds a bamboo windsurfer, just like Victoria Jackson did for Paul Simon in that old Saturday Night Live skit. He smelted it! ANTICIPATION: GROWLY!
HARD KNOCKS: TRAINING CAMP WITH THE NEW YORK JETS – 10:00PM (HBO) Greatest coach in the universe Rex Ryan brings his team together for the upcoming 2010 season. On hand are new arrivals LaDainian Tomlinson (no doubt sulking behind a protective visor), wideout Santonio Holmes (a must given HBO’s pro-nudity policy), and end Jason Taylor, who could have been the Old Spice guy in another life. Noticeably absent? Star corner Darrelle Revis. There are a lot of expectations on this team. Tonight will give you the first indication of whether or not they can handle that. ANTICIPATION: KILLLLLL!
TOP CHEF – 9:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) Suddenly, this cast has become quite enjoyable. We learned last week that Kenny is a cancer survivor who’s been operated on FOUR times. Four times! And his wife died. And double winner Tiffany from last week is proving the most likable contestant of the batch. All they have to do is get rid of Cocaine Lady and Creepy Alex, the poisonous pirate pea puree pilferer. Then we may have something to work with in the home stretch. ANTICIPATION: TASTY!
WORK OF ART – 10:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network) It’s the finale to the excellent new reality competition, and I hope it manages to get another season. Last week the judges booted Nicole and her alien coconut in a shocking dismissal. Instead, they kept Peregrin, who grew up in a commune and may have been raised by wolves. This finale will likely be a showdown between the obsessive Miles and Abdi, whose drawing last week was easily the best thing the show has ever produced. There’s no Jackie around to photograph herself naked this time, but it’ll still be riveting nonetheless. ANTICIPATION: TEAM ABDI!
CRISS ANGEL: MINDFREAK – 10:00PM (A&E) Criss tries walking up the Luxor hotel pyramid, failing to realize there’s a perfectly functioning elevator inside. ANTICIPATION: WALKS LIKE EGYPTIAN!