LONDON - APRIL 13: Gordon Ramsay after finishing the Flora London Marathon 2008 at the Mall on April 13th 2008 in London England (Photo by Ferdaus Shamim/Wireimage)
Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and accept your Golden Globe Nomination for Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy. LET’S GO!
GORDON RAMSAY’S ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS – 10:00PM (BBC America) It’s a lighter side of BOLLOCKS as Ramsay prepares a holiday feast for his wife and children. Awww, you see? He’s not so bad. Until little Nigel Ramsay tells pop he doesn’t want to play soccer at the dinner table. Then it’s all WOT? NO FOOTBOLL? THAT IS $#@%ING RUBBISH! By the way, I prefer BBC Gordon to FOX Gordon by about thirtyfold. ANTICIPATION: ULTIMATENESS!
EXPLORER – 10:00PM (NatGeo – an NBC/Universal Network) Punk legend Henry Rollins explores the so-called “warrior gene” that might be able to predict violent tendencies in a person. Henry Rollins is the EXACT right person to host this sort of special. To see if the warrior gene is real, scientists take DNA samples from a diverse set of test subjects, including biker gangs and MMA fighters. Because if there are two groups of people on Earth who like to leave their DNA out in public places, it’s outlaw biker gangs and MMA fighters. I don’t think people are born violent, by the way. I think it’s a product of your environment, particularly if that environment includes songs from the cast of “Glee”. ANTICIPATION: BLOODY!
THIRD REICH: THE RISE – 9:00PM (History Channel) For those of you who are obsessed with Nazi history but don’t want to be seen as ENJOYING it, there’s this two-hour special featuring archival footage of Nazism’s rise in Germany during the 1930’s. It’s the perfect special to watch while you sit at home and drink from your antique Nazi tea set. Of course, only YOU know that you own an antique Nazi tea set, isn’t that right? ANTICIPATION: SCARY!
MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER – 9:00PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal Network) Patti helps famed publisher Judith Regan find a new lover. Regan was Howard Stern’s editor. I don’t know why Howard couldn't have hooked her up with Crackhead Bob or Elephant Boy or one of many other handsome eligible bachelors. ANTICIPATION: SA SA SEXY!
SIXTEEN AND PREGNANT – 10:00PM (MTV) Your favorite parenting horror show returns with a profile of Megan, who plans on raising her baby in her parents’ basement. Come for the yelling, stay for the documented assault on the boyfriend! ANTICIPATION: DON’T GET PREGNANT!