Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and plan for April Fool’s NEXT year. No more fooling this year. Everyone is all fooled out. But next year! Next year, you will fake your own death so convincingly, your mom will throw herself on your coffin! LET’S GO!
PROJECT RUNWAY – 10:00PM (Lifetime)
They booted Anthony! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Gah! What the heck am I supposed to watch now? Anthony was brilliant. And has anyone ever left a reality show in such a graceful and classy fashion? I haven’t been this attached to a flamboyant man since Meshach Taylor. They should bring him back as a judge. They should bring him back as the freakin’ HOST. Better yet, kick that Models spinoff to the curb (it’s horrid) and give that man his own spinoff. Oh, Anthony. I miss you dearly already. ANTICIPATION: GETTING A LITTLE MISTY IN HERE
SURVIVOR: HEROES AND VILLAINS – 8:00PM (CBS)
According to my guide, “A castaway is betrayed by an ally.” No way! Who would have guessed that backstabbing featured prominently on this show? I love how “Survivor” always deploys words like “alliance,” like the show is some kind of World War II reenactment. QUICK! SIGN THE TREATY! BOSTON ROB IS NOT ADHERING TO THE RULES SET BY THE MARQUESAS CONVENTION! ANTICIPATION: TWISTY!
CSI – 10:00PM (CBS)
Tonight’s episode is entitled, “The Panty Sniffer.” Aw, yeah. Get ready for a detailed, forensic examination… of panties! ANTICIPATION: PANTING
NAZI SECRET WEAPONS – 9:00PM (NatGeo – an NBC/Universal network)
Oh, I am so there. Discover all of the weapons those naughty Nazis developed once Indiana Jones wrested the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail away from them. Like the Sauerkraut bazooka! The Awkward German laughter pulse bomb! And the dreaded Hitler paintings! One look, and you turn to gelpfwurst! ANTICIPATION: KABOOMENSTREIZE!
TRUE LIFE: I’M A GAMBLER – 10:00PM (MTV)
Follow the sad story of young people who did not know when to hold them, when to fold them, when to walk away, or when to run. ANTICIPATION: DEBTASTIC!