Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and polish your Hummel figurine collection. LET’S GO!
CAVS VS. HEAT – 8:00PM (TNT) The moment Cleveland fans have been savoring ever since LeBron James publicly dumped them has at last arrived. The Cavaliers players may as well not even take the court, because tonight is going to be all about Cleveland fans openly jeering and mocking the man who once seemed to promise them salvation. Now, there’s already some speculation as to whether or not some nutjob fan will do something irrational, even possibly illegal, during this game. Many people will tell you they hope that doesn’t happen. Not me. I’m watching BECAUSE I want to see if some crazy spurned Cavs fan decides to run up to LeBron and throw a gallon of red paint on him. That would be crazy awesome. ANTICIPATION: RANCOR!
THE KENNEDY DETAIL – 9:00PM (Discovery) This two-hour special profiles the Secret Service detail assigned to John F. Kennedy. The agents, in their own words, give their version of the day Kennedy was murdered in Dallas. I assume a few “my bad”s will be uttered. ANTICIPATION: GRASSY KNOLL!
THE SANTA SUIT – 8:00PM (Hallmark) Kevin Sorbo (HERCULES! HERCULES! clapclapclap) stars in this made-for-TV holiday movie about a ruthless toy company CEO who changes his ways after putting on a magic Santa suit and being transformed into a Santa lookalike. It’s just like “Shallow Hal,” only people are nicer to the fat person this go round. Having a sack full of toys will do that for you. ANTICIPATION: WEEPY!
BRAD MELTZER’S DECODED – 10:00PM (History) New show! Brad Meltzer (I don’t know who that is) hosts this show that explores secret symbols of the world and tries to uncover the conspiracies behind them. Oooh! Dan Brown is taking notes! First up tonight: The White House. Did you know Freemasons have our President hypnotized? 100% true. ANTICIPATION: SEEECRETS!
IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA – 10:00PM (FX) Phillies superstars Chase Utley and Ryan Howard guest star. Do not expect LeBron to do the same for “Hot In Cleveland”. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!