Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and crumble extra bleu cheese into your salad. If it were up to you, the whole salad would be nothing but bleu cheese. LET’S GO!
NURSE JACKIE – 10:00PM (Showtime) Edie Falco’s Showtime series returns for another season of pill popping and withering cynicism. I saw Edie Falco naked once. True story. She was the star of “Frankie and Johnny” on Broadway with Stanley Tucci, and there was a sex scene right at the beginning. And both of them were totally naked in front of the audience for what seemed like hours. Now, you think about what kind of onions it takes for an actor to stand there naked in front of a thousand people night after night. That Edie Falco, she’s no shrinking violet. ANTICIPATION: EDIE (CIAO BABY)!
UNITED STATES OF TARA – 10:30PM (Showtime) It’s a huge night of premieres at Showtime as Diablo Cody’s comedy also returns for its third season. This season, Tara decides to go back to college. And the nice thing about having Multiple Personality Disorder at college is that it allows you to pledge more than one sorority. ANTICIPATION: LOCO!
ALL TOGETHER NOW: A CELEBRATION OF PUBLIC SERVICE – 8:00PM (NBC) All seventeen living Ex-Presidents join President Obama for this televised gala celebrating American volunteerism and public service. Oop. I’m sorry. I’ve been told that only four ex-Presidents are still alive. I totally thought Eisenhower and Polk were still around. Anyway, while this celebration of public service seems like a nice idea, I think the more unselfish gesture would have been to vacate the airwaves so I could watch “Chuck” tonight, as I normally do. ANTICIPATION: DO GOODERS!
THE HARD TIMES OF RJ BERGER – 10:00PM (MTV) Vinny from “Jersey Shore” (you know him as the mildly tolerable one) makes his acting debut tonight on this MTV original comedy. Vinny will stretch by playing an elderly transsexual drug addict with two grandkids and a lifetime of secrets she would never dare confront. Just kidding. He’s playing a guy named Vinny. ANTICIPATION: VINNY!
ANTHONY BOURDAIN: NO RESERVATIONS – 9:00PM (Travel Channel) Tony travels to the Ozarks, which I believe are in Hungary, and samples such local delicacies as raccoon and squirrel pot pie. Mmmm… squirrel pot pie. So comforting. ANTICIPATION: ROADKILL!