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Cover Your Ears. Mr. Blonde Is Joining “24”

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    NEWSLETTERS

    There are only six hours left of “24,” which means you only have six chances left to watch Jack Bauer kidnap, bind, torture, and maim bad guys while completely avoiding any kind of tedious paperwork. It promises to be a most explosive quarter of a day, and the show’s producers are clearly looking to send Jack out on a very high, mushroom cloudy note. Because they’ve brought in Mr. Blonde himself, the one and only Michael Madsen, to join the cast for the final stretch. From the Boston Globe:

    This week, Jack seeks help from an old friend played by Michael Madsen, that master of quiet menace, while President Taylor turns to a private security specialist played by D.B. Sweeney.

    If DB Sweeney’s security specialist turns out to be a redneck trucker who gets abducted by aliens, I think we’re all in for a treat. But back to Madsen. Now seriously, could you think of a better candidate to play on old friend of Jack Bauer? Michael Madsen has earned a living playing Sonny Black, Mr. Blonde, and Budd aka Sidewinder. He’s sliced off ears and buried Uma Thurman alive. He knows a thing or two about putting people in very tight plastic cuffs and then pulling out their toenails with a pair of pliers. He’s the go-to guy for that kind of thing.

    When you think about it, it’s kind of insane that Madsen has joined the cast of “24” only now. He should have been on this show years ago, chopping off fingers and then coolly asking terrorists if they need a hand. And just imagine what Madsen will do when he, in grand “24” fashion, turns double agent and become PURE MENACING EVIL. Then he’ll torture people, and then DOUBLE torture them, just because he’s such a cold bastard. I can’t wait.

    Madsen’s run starts tonight. Get your K-Billy’s Super Sound Of The 70’s ready to go.