Yes, Randy Wittman, raise your arms in triumph. You are the most quotable member of the D.C. sports community in 2012.
Oh, good. You came back. I was getting a little worried after yesterday's nausea-inducing retrospective.
But you walked through the valley of the shadow of horrible, horrible losses (hopefully unscathed/not scarred for life) and now we can look back at the happier side of D.C. sports in 2012.
Today, I bring to you the top five quotes from athletes/coaches.
5. "I knew as soon as I got hit. I screamed. Like a man, of course. It hurt really bad."
- Robert Griffin III describing his knee injury, postgame interview following Redskins' 31-28 overtime victory over Ravens, Dec. 9
You know, Bob -- may I call you "Bob"? -- if a 340-pound man barrelled into my leg, I would scream like a five-year-old girl. Probably cry, too. The fact that you returned to the game (albeit briefly) and your leg wasn't completely snapped off by the force of Haloti Ngata reeks of manliness. So scream. Scream to your heart's content. Shriek even.
4. "That first quarter, I thought I was getting my teeth pulled at the dentist without any Novocaine. It was pretty painful."
- Randy Wittman, postgame interview following Wizards' victory over Hornets, Dec. 11
I've had three root canals, the result of not being able to catch a pop fly at baseball camp when I was 11. During one of them -- they all sort of run together at this point -- the Novocaine wore off and I could feel the dentist drilling into my tooth. That was pretty painful.
And remember, this was a game that the Wizards actually won.
3. Joel Ward describing his recovery from sports hernia surgery, interview with 102.1 The Edge in Toronto, Aug. 8
Ward's hands earn him a second appearance in my year-end lists, but as you can see, there is no actual quote here. That is because it relates to a, well, touchy subject and this is a family blog. But if you're still interested in finding out, click the link above.
2. "Until the doctor says he’s ready to go full bore, I don’t know what to tell you guys. I’m serious. I tell my mom, ‘I don’t know.’ She asks me every day, too. ‘When’s John coming back?’ ‘I don’t know, Mom.’"
- Randy Wittman on John Wall, post-practice interview, Dec. 2
We can all relate. Whose mother doesn't/didn't nag? As I write this, I am meticulously checking for grammatical errors so that my mom (Hi, Mom!) doesn't send me a text saying "Randy Wittman quote, meticulous spelled wrong." To Mrs. Wittman's credit, even John Wall doesn't know when John Wall is coming back.
1. "That's a clown question, bro."
- Bryce Harper to reporter, postgame interview following Nationals' 4-2 victory over Blue Jays, June 12
Of course this is No. 1. Harper's testy quip after being asked if he would take advantage of Canada's lower drinking age turned into a trademark. Soon after, it launched a line of merchandise and even inspired a beer in Colorado. Just don't ask Harper if he plans on trying it.
Come back tomorrow for Part III of Capital Games' Year In Review special. I use the word "special" loosely.
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