This is what I imagine Stanton's "pissed off" face looks like.
Last winter, the Miami Marlins, with a new name and a new state-of-the-art ballpark with an eyesore of a home run sculpture, were big spenders. They brought in Ozzie Guillen, a man more colorful than the team's new pastel uniforms, to manage and signed high-priced free agents Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle and Heath Bell.
So what became of the Marlins? Well, like a fish being prepared for dinner, their roster was gutted. Bell, who had beef (which is not fish) with Guillen, was traded last month, while Guillen was fired after a controversial season. Hell, despite being a trainwreck, Showtime canceled the Marlins' season of "The Franchise" series after just seven episodes. They couldn't even stink right.
Yet, none of that compares to what happened Tuesday (well, except for when the Marlins enlisted Creed lead vocalist Scott Stapp to pen an anthem for them; that was pretty embarrassing). According to reports, the Marlins traded Reyes, Buehrle, Josh Johnson, John Buck and Emilio Bonafacio to the Toronto Blue Jays. If and when that traded is finalized, seven of Miami's nine Opening Day starters will have left since July.
One of the two leftovers, Giancarlo Stanton took to Twitter to vent his frustration, saying that he was "pissed off!!!" Being the Good Samaritan that he is, Bryce Harper offered Stanton sanctuary.
"You can always come play for the Nats!" Harper tweeted at Stanton. "We will take you anytime! Get some red, white, and blue in your life!"
Stanton victimized Washington last season, crushing five home runs and driving in 12 runs in 37 at-bats, so I'm sure the Nats would love to have him. Or anywhere but Miami, really.
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