Since we all can’t get along and labor negotiations are clearly not going well, the league has officially canceled the first two weeks of the NBA season.
For those who planned on attending these games and now find themselves with a hole in their calendar, we have some alternative activities to consider:
Canceled game: Wizards vs. New Jersey Nets
DC Improv is hosting a “Pay What You Can Night.” This is convenient not only for Wizards fans, but for the players themselves who will be denied game checks while they’re still locked out.
For fans who will miss the flashing logos, endorsed players and an arena full of branded everything, All About Youniversity is holding The Self Promotion Workshops, where attendees can bring their “ideas, brainstorms, frustrations” and learn how to market themselves. Also might be a good idea for Andray Blatche to sit in. He could use a few self-branding pointers.
Canceled game: Wizards vs. Orlando Magic
The Washington Ballet will be performing their version of The Great Gatsby. Based on a book about money, ambition and greed, it couldn’t be a more appropriate commentary on the lockout. Also good for fans who miss seeing men in tights.
Canceled game: Wizards vs. Chicago Bulls
This game cancellation just nullifies the “Redskins or Wizards” Sunday afternoon debate, but for those fans not interested in $10 beer and a two-hour trip out of the FedEx parking lot, The Atlas is offering a Hip Hop Class with Jamile McGee. Not as fun as a hip hop class with JaVale McGee, but you can be certain there will be no planking. We’re also fairly certain that the former McGee won’t spend the class falling for pump fakes.